Pressing Pause to Recreate.
We are so programmed to think busy = success. Looking back on my regular New York City regimes, it is clear that I was surviving on this mentality. A typical day in New York City as a working actress looked like an early wake up, two heavy packed bags, a crowded subway ride to midtown, an audition or two (or THREE!), another crowded subway ride to work which usually involved rushing to get to babysitting, or an admin role, or rehearsal on time, and then a long crowded subway ride home to then turn right back around to head downtown to meet friends, or perform in a cabaret, or produce a concert. Exhilarating, right? It was. And I didn’t know any different. That is what the city was to me and I loved it and thrived on the hustle.
When the pandemic hit, I had no choice but to pause and finally sit with my thoughts and other passions. I had just come off of one of the most successful chapters of my career. From Summer 2019 to the shutdown on March 12th, 2020, I performed at one of the premiere regional theatres in the northeast, originated roles in two plays in NYC, performed in a new work trilogy, produced and performed in a concert, performed in a new works concert, and performed Off Broadway in a revival of a musical. I remember thinking, “I am so tired I just want a second to breathe!” Little did I know a year (and even more!) of no theatre would ensue and I’d be questioning my identity and purpose.
I had no choice but to refine and shift my perspective. Without theatre; my life’s dream, I had to dig deep and discover what else makes me tick. I finally had time and space to ponder on this. I had time to dream up new things. I had the time and I embraced it.
I enjoy performing because I enjoy connecting with an audience. With this in mind I considered other careers that engage with people on the regular. I dabbled in wedding styling, barista techniques, and other varying customer service roles but while pursuing these new roles, I realized I was finding the most joy when I retreated home to redesign and decorate our new home. We moved from NYC to Nashville, Tennessee, our old college stomping grounds and the city we always said we’d come back to. The pandemic was the catalyst for our move and the creator in me hungered to turn our home space into a haven of opportunity.
While decorating and sharing ideas and repurposed projects on social media platforms, friends and family, and especially my husband pushed me to seek out opportunities to turn this hobby into a career. If I’ve learned anything from this pause, it’s that you don’t have to be busy to rethink. It’s the moments we take a second for ourself and our soul we recognize what our heart really wants.
I want to help people turn their space into their own havens. I want to encourage people to take their lives and careers into their own hands. You can be the boss of our own destiny. Stop letting people dictate what your dreams can or cannot be. While theatre may be paused, it will be back. And in the mean time, I’m taking this pause to recreate and re-find. I’ve found much of myself in this parallel career and I’m excited to keep uncovering her.
